Abby is going to be 4 years old in a little less than 6 months and I can hardly believe it. I wouldn't consider that an age where I could claim her as a baby but in my eyes she is still very much my baby. I am finally starting to understand what parents go through when they approach the end of the line for their children. There are a mix of feelings I feel on a daily basis with the decision to possibly have Abby be our last baby. There is not a day that goes by that I don't feel so incredibly grateful to be able to sleep through the night. I cherish my sleep. There are many things I do not miss like dirty diapers or nursing or having to get up in the middle of the night. My life is still crazy but in a different way. My kids can all feed themselves, go to the bathroom by themselves, play by themselves, talk to me and so much more. I love having a house full of energetic little ones but time is flying by too fast and pretty soon my little ones will not find the Itsy Bitsy Spider entertaining anymore. I don't want that day to ever come but I know it will. I find myself holding on to every single little moment that I get with all of them, but especially with Abby. I hate to see this precious little age between toddler and little kid flee before my eyes. I love to hear her talk with her little toddler voice and see her cute expressions that only a 3 year old makes. I love it when she squints with one eye while curling up part of her lip when she is making her silly confused face. I love it when she puckers up her lips and gives me a pouty look all while seeing in her eyes the game of it all. I love her little round cheeks that remind me of how young she still is and how she still lets me kiss them 10 times in 10 seconds. If I could have more little Abby's without having to go through the mess to get them here and the undesirable first year where my body is not mine at all I would do it in a heart beat. I am not really ready to let go of this time where Abby is still little. Everyday I just have to remind myself of how lucky I am to have this precious time now and somehow that makes me feel a little better. I will never look back on this time and regret that I didn't spend more time with Abby. The other day we were in my room making my bed and she noticed the sun coming in through the window just right and for the first time she saw the dust particles in the air. Her eyes opened real wide and she was so excited by this new discovery. She kept reaching out as if to catch them all. It was so fun to see her in a moment of discovery. I love Abby for reminding me to see the world as a child sees the world...not rushed, pure, innocent, magnificent, and miraculous.